RIP Jens

[dewline]

I was considering finally uploading a ramble about the Occupy Movement tonight, or maybe the CFL game I watched this afternoon, or a review of one or two books.

But all that can wait.

We lost someone on Thursday whom I've known for about ten years, a guy in Hamburg I considered a friendly acquaintance whom, in my arrogance, I would like to think of as in the process of becoming a friend in fact.

His name was Jens Altmann. Some of us here on Livejournal knew him as black13. He wore a number of different hats in the years I knew him: comics fan, writer, translator, occasional cartoonist, and for a few years, husband.

On Thursday, he ended himself. Personally, without much more in the way of evidence than our interactions over the Net over the years...I suspect - but will never be able to prove - clinical depression.

I never got to meet him in person.

And now that option is off-limits to us all.

Jens, I'm sorry.

Comments

[hawkward.livejournal.com]

This is so hard. I'm drifting around hoping Anders posts more information.

I'd agree with your diagnosis 100%.

Suddenly I want to get in a plane and fly to all the places where the SA gang are scattered, and meet each of you in person, at least once.

Hey, what's the URL for Kbox? I wanna see if anything's being said over there, but I have no link.

[dewline.livejournal.com]

As to us meeting in person...I'm glad to say that we've already done that at least the once. San Diego in '02 if memory serves.

As to "KBox", box_in_the_box has done a public eulogy of his own already.

[wyldemusick.livejournal.com]

Clinical depression, major anger issues, bad turns in his work, his marriage coming apart, taking a job that was grueling beyond belief...and a tunnel-visoned pragmatism.

It's the last in that list that would have done it. Jens was always of a mind that if living got to be too much, too painful, too pointless, he'd end it.

He'd spent the last few months disconnecting all of his possible lifelines. I figure he made the decision a while back, spent some time tidying up as best he could, and when he'd done that, got on with it.

There's been so much for me this past couple of years that I can't even properly process this right now. I'm numb. I started to react, and shut down.

[p-m-cryan.livejournal.com]

And it's that pragmatism that is weighing down heavily on so many of us. Despite the reaching out we did, he made up his mind not to reach back.

I am angry and I am sad and I miss him.

[evilvillan-1.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry. :hug:

[dewline.livejournal.com]

Thank you.

[jasonfranks.livejournal.com]

Poor Jens. I don't think I've seen or heard from him since P&P went down.

[dewline.livejournal.com]

Near as we can tell, he'd been severing his Internet lifelines for a while from that point to this. The only one he'd left himself at the end was the Sanity Assassinations forum.

[jasonfranks.livejournal.com]

There's an irony there. I could never quite work out if Jens would have been aware of it or not.

[dewline.livejournal.com]

I don't know what odds to suggest in which direction on that irony.

[orleans.livejournal.com]

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. Depression is such a terribly difficult condition for anyone to deal with.