Clinical depression, major anger issues, bad turns in his work, his marriage coming apart, taking a job that was grueling beyond belief...and a tunnel-visoned pragmatism.
It's the last in that list that would have done it. Jens was always of a mind that if living got to be too much, too painful, too pointless, he'd end it.
He'd spent the last few months disconnecting all of his possible lifelines. I figure he made the decision a while back, spent some time tidying up as best he could, and when he'd done that, got on with it.
There's been so much for me this past couple of years that I can't even properly process this right now. I'm numb. I started to react, and shut down.
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branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2011-10-30 05:58 am (UTC)It's the last in that list that would have done it. Jens was always of a mind that if living got to be too much, too painful, too pointless, he'd end it.
He'd spent the last few months disconnecting all of his possible lifelines. I figure he made the decision a while back, spent some time tidying up as best he could, and when he'd done that, got on with it.
There's been so much for me this past couple of years that I can't even properly process this right now. I'm numb. I started to react, and shut down.